Toucan

You know the drill, you log on in the small hours of Sunday morning after spending Saturday night out on the tiles, visiting the odd bar or two…or three…or four…okay, so you went to every bar within walking distance! You watched your mates down endless shots at the bar and chat up countless singletons. Sure, you laughed at their so called ‘moves’ on the dance-floor, but why was it that everyone seemed to end up paired off at the end of it all?

Bleary-eyed, you go online, eager to read all the messages you must have received from all those daters on our website. Yet that awful moment has come again when you discover…you still have no new messages.

Could it be time to rethink your profile perhaps? Are you putting people off before they’ve even met you?

Don’t despair. Let the Date Doctor inject your profile with some pheromonal action. See if you can spot which of the two profiles below ended in dating success and which resulted in an empty inbox. Why not take a look at some of our Success Stories to see how attainable online love truly is?


1.) My names Laura, I live in the W.Midlands and work on a factory production line (I no its c**p, but nobodies perfect). In my spare time I like to watch the criket, play tennis and go out for meals. My ideal nite wood involve being curled up on the coach in front of a log fire watching a DVD with the man of my dreams while eating a Chinese takeaway and downing a bottle of red. The guy I’m luking for must be inteligent, funny and have a personality (that meens STRICTLY NO WEIRDOS thank you very much!!!) and he must be honest to coz I can’t be doin with liers Ive had enough of those in the past (don’t even go their!!) So take note you guys, I won’t be a fool again!!! I also want a man whose into dogs as I have two of them, and if the dogs don’t like you your out!!! I no Im on the largeside, but please give me a go if you think I mite be what your luking for. If am not your kind of ladi good luck finding the women of your dreams. Bye

2.) Nice to meet you, I’m Laura. I guess the cheeky smile in my photo tempted you to read my profile (or maybe I’m being naïve and it was actually my voluptuous curves that swayed you??) Well, what can I say, except that my life revolves around chocolate! But that’s only ‘cos I work in a choc factory! When I’ve not got my fingers in the sweet stuff I love to thrash it out on the tennis court (my fave player has to be Roddick). I enjoy meals out, my fave food has to be Chinese (I’m great with the old chopsticks!) So what kind of guy am I after? Well, a man who can make me laugh (feather dusters at the ready) and if he can get the odd question on Mastermind that’s a plus. Honesty is always good, unless of course it’s my Birthday…oh, and if you’re a dog lover (though not literally) that would be fab! I guess that’s about it from me, so now it’s over to you…come on, do get in touch, I know you’re dying to hear how I blagged tickets to the Ashes…xx

So have you guessed which one sparked the chemistry? Yep, it was the second profile. Let’s see the reasons why profile no. 1 for Laura, the West Midlands factory worker, was so different to profile no. 2 for Laura, the chocolate fingering, chopstick swinging, cricket crazy chick…

Spot the key differences:

• Spelling/grammar/punctuation

It’s easy to think that these three elements don’t matter, but when reading the two profiles, it becomes blaringly obvious that it does matter. Not only does good spelling, punctuation and grammar show that the person writing the profile has put time and effort into it, it also shows that they have a brain cell or two! Come on; don’t be lazy.

• Personal Vs impersonal

The first profile is rather bland and informative, while the second profile makes the effort to engage the reader in a friendly way, making the reading process feel more like a face-to-face encounter. If you’re a fan of face-to-face encounters, check out our Events coming to a venue near you!

• Matter-of-fact lists

When profiles rattle off lists of attributes, hobbies, and desires, the reader becomes embroiled in a meaningless array of adjectives and nouns. Unfortunately, many people use this strategy, and if you do likewise, your profile is likely to get ‘lost’ in the thousands of other profiles online. Bring your attributes, hobbies and desires to life with examples and colourful language (and no, before you type those words, we don’t mean that kind of language!)

• Clichés

Avoid clichés unless you want to sound cheesier than a French cheese-maker, sitting in a bath of cheese, nibbling on a wedge of Camembert! Too many people end up explaining how enjoyable it is to sit in front of a log fire watching a DVD with your ‘dream date’ and a bottle of wine! Come on, how often do you sit in front of a log fire these days anyway?

• Negativity

Don’t be so down on yourself. If you don’t respect yourself, how will anyone else respect you? Love yourself and then let others love you in turn.

• Don’t point out the obvious

This is an easy mistake to make. People will commonly write that they’re looking for someone ‘with a personality’. Personality is defined as, “The quality or condition of being a person.” So you’ll be hard pushed to find someone who doesn’t have one! Also avoid making a preference against ‘weirdos’; no one thinks they’re weird so they won’t avoid contacting you!

• Referring to past negative experiences

This is a definite no-no. If you’re emotionally holding onto the past, it’s time to ask yourself if you’re truly ready to start dating again? Don’t judge potential dates by bad past experiences.

• Pets

Yes, we love them, but don’t place them over potential soul mates! Being ‘too fond’ of your pet(s) could put people off. Love them by all means, but don’t fall ‘in love’ with them!

• Ending

Remember to end with a bang, not a whimper. Give the reader a thought provoking (better still, a message provoking) closing sentence. That way you’ll be opening the lines of communication rather than closing them! Don’t assume the person reading your profile won’t like you and bid them farewell, after all, you’ve only just met!

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